kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
