So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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