Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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