He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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