nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
