no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
