my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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