so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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