8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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