I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
