I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
