Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
