If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
