Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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