Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
