Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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