people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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