i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
