I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Randomize
