The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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