he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
