Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
