Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Do vagina's smell?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
