D3 body, D1 cock
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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