you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
