She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
