I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
