put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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