Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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