Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize