y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
