STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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