Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
