Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
