Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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