Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize