Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
