just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
