therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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