Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
