yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
