you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
