i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
