apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
