she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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