Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
