I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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