I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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