I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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