just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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