come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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