the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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