Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
