You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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