I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize