With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
