Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If I had your ass I would rule the world
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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